Introspection 101
(Please remember that I read Freud before I wrote this.) I ask myself more and more frequently - why can't you figure out the boundaries between yourself and everyone else? I'm fully aware - sometimes I don't know where my edges are. A lot of the time, I feel like the boundary is too close to me and then, other times, I feel like the boundary is too far out. It is never the same.
The fact is...even though I have moved back to New York...I'm still at the stage in my life where my anxieties are all about the future - or, more specifically, the aimless way in which I'm stumbling into the future. I feel better about where I am in the present but I'm still messed up about what direction I'm taking. I used to do things that would distract me from that - I could ignore shit by working myself to death and falling into a numb routine. But being here, in a new situation, after having dropped my career in collegiate sports, the Ivy rep and switching majors at the last possible junction - it all seems to come together. And it spells out one thing.
Get your shit together, Ralph. It's time to step out.
The fact is...even though I have moved back to New York...I'm still at the stage in my life where my anxieties are all about the future - or, more specifically, the aimless way in which I'm stumbling into the future. I feel better about where I am in the present but I'm still messed up about what direction I'm taking. I used to do things that would distract me from that - I could ignore shit by working myself to death and falling into a numb routine. But being here, in a new situation, after having dropped my career in collegiate sports, the Ivy rep and switching majors at the last possible junction - it all seems to come together. And it spells out one thing.
Get your shit together, Ralph. It's time to step out.
This entry was posted
on January 28, 2005 at 3:15 AM.
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