The Relapse: Gyllenhaalic
April 22, 2007
It was my mother who saw him. My mother doesn't even know his name. My mother only recognized him because she had seen his face on the cover of US Weekly, next to Reese Witherspoon. My mother thought his name was Lyndonhaal.
HER: "That was Lyndonhaal. We just passed him."
We were on the upper-eastside.
ME: "Who's that? I don't know who that is."
HER: "Yes you do, you do ... Lyndonhaal. Lyndonhaal! You know!"
ME: "What?!"
HER: "You know, dating Reese Witherspoon."
I stop dead in my tracks.
ME: "Gyllenhaal?! You saw JAKE GYLLENHAAL!"
HER: "Yeah. Him."
She said that last line with such calm and reserve.
Of course, by the time we had pinned down exactly who it was that she had seen and that it was NOT in fact somebody named Lyndon Hall and rather one of my favorite whiteboys of all time, Jake Hotness Gyllenhaal, the dude was long gone up Lexington Avenue.
But at least I know he's back in New York.
HER: "That was Lyndonhaal. We just passed him."
We were on the upper-eastside.
ME: "Who's that? I don't know who that is."
HER: "Yes you do, you do ... Lyndonhaal. Lyndonhaal! You know!"
ME: "What?!"
HER: "You know, dating Reese Witherspoon."
I stop dead in my tracks.
ME: "Gyllenhaal?! You saw JAKE GYLLENHAAL!"
HER: "Yeah. Him."
She said that last line with such calm and reserve.
Of course, by the time we had pinned down exactly who it was that she had seen and that it was NOT in fact somebody named Lyndon Hall and rather one of my favorite whiteboys of all time, Jake Hotness Gyllenhaal, the dude was long gone up Lexington Avenue.
But at least I know he's back in New York.
