Out of Left Field
(Fiction or Fact?)
Quite honestly I don't know what to write. I'm real tired, real upset. I've been procrastinating all night with Ifilm viral video. Can't focus on papers. I can't focus on anything or anyone.
I know I'm being mean to people. I just don't care. I can't. I don't care that somebody feels they "need" me. I didn't ask for it to be that way. I put in very little effort. I showed very little interest. All I did was be humane...nice - the way it should be. But apparently this is enough to lead to some deep bond between two people - the type of deep bond which ends up being one-sided. A "The other day you tried to get my attention by screaming a nickname which was never sanctioned by me and you wondered why I didn't turn around" - type of deep bond. I even said, when you asked, that I don't answer to that name because it's not mine, regardless of whether you "gave it to [me]" or not. And then...I couldn't believe it...you said again "but we gave it to you!" - like a child. You remind me of a little kid sometimes.
It's not my job to look after you. I'm not gonna play your games where you try to subtly get my attention. Quit parading yourself around me and pouting about how I don't make time for you. There's a reason for that.
I'm going to leave you very soon and I don't feel bad about it. I wish I did.
Quite honestly I don't know what to write. I'm real tired, real upset. I've been procrastinating all night with Ifilm viral video. Can't focus on papers. I can't focus on anything or anyone.
I know I'm being mean to people. I just don't care. I can't. I don't care that somebody feels they "need" me. I didn't ask for it to be that way. I put in very little effort. I showed very little interest. All I did was be humane...nice - the way it should be. But apparently this is enough to lead to some deep bond between two people - the type of deep bond which ends up being one-sided. A "The other day you tried to get my attention by screaming a nickname which was never sanctioned by me and you wondered why I didn't turn around" - type of deep bond. I even said, when you asked, that I don't answer to that name because it's not mine, regardless of whether you "gave it to [me]" or not. And then...I couldn't believe it...you said again "but we gave it to you!" - like a child. You remind me of a little kid sometimes.
It's not my job to look after you. I'm not gonna play your games where you try to subtly get my attention. Quit parading yourself around me and pouting about how I don't make time for you. There's a reason for that.
I'm going to leave you very soon and I don't feel bad about it. I wish I did.
This entry was posted
on October 29, 2004 at 2:16 AM.
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