Scales Tipped
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I'm angry.
I don't know how long the anger will last but I can't see the edge of it right now. It's all encompassing.
I discovered, recently, that someone I love - a recovering drug addict - started selling cocaine three months ago. This kid has put me through shit for years and I had to somehow take it and somehow focus on my life while he was destroying his. These recent months have been slightly sour because I began to realise that, to some extent, the kid can't change. I felt torn between caring about him, and all the bad memories, the lies, the constant trials, the pain he causes everyone around him. The way he poisons things.
The last time I saw him, we fought and he told me that I don't know how to live my life.
This is a guy who sells cocaine to other recovering addicts and lies about it.
Oh God. He lies all the time now.
And I'm so angry that I want to kill. I just want to hurt someone. I just want to inflict as much pain on someone else as I possibly can so that I can exorcise the bitterness I feel.
My college life seems meaningless to me right now.
I'm angry.
I don't know how long the anger will last but I can't see the edge of it right now. It's all encompassing.
I discovered, recently, that someone I love - a recovering drug addict - started selling cocaine three months ago. This kid has put me through shit for years and I had to somehow take it and somehow focus on my life while he was destroying his. These recent months have been slightly sour because I began to realise that, to some extent, the kid can't change. I felt torn between caring about him, and all the bad memories, the lies, the constant trials, the pain he causes everyone around him. The way he poisons things.
The last time I saw him, we fought and he told me that I don't know how to live my life.
This is a guy who sells cocaine to other recovering addicts and lies about it.
Oh God. He lies all the time now.
And I'm so angry that I want to kill. I just want to hurt someone. I just want to inflict as much pain on someone else as I possibly can so that I can exorcise the bitterness I feel.
My college life seems meaningless to me right now.
This entry was posted
on April 24, 2005 at 10:07 PM.
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