Abort the Babies, Ladies
"Why?," I ask myself. "Why do girls do this?" And I'm talking about the baby-voice thing. That thing, that a person I live with does all the time, that makes me want to vomit. That thing that many a fine man has been subjected to by a girlfriend who doesn't know any better--by an asshole who embarrasses all real women.
To me this is one of the most disgusting ways imaginable of endearing yourself to someone--a boyfriend, anyone. It involves mimicking the vocal quality of a mewling four year-old girl. It conjures up images of diapers and drool and sticky fingers--all the nastiness of infancy. And when a 20 year-old person (or older) drops into the baby-talk, it also conjures up images of mental asylums, old folks homes and mental retardation facilities, where there are actually a lot of older people who can't wipe their own asses or feed themselves, whose minds have either degenerated into nothingness or never developed properly in the first place. Only there would you find a 20 year-old who has an honest excuse for the inability to speak like he or she passed first grade.
Essentially, when I hear the baby-voice, many negative references are rolled into one. The high-pitched, nasal, whining sound only makes matters worse ... That sound, and the possibility that the boyfriend, who's on the receiving end of all this, might be getting off on it, is highly disturbing.
The grossness is truly endless.
Why do girls do it? Who teaches them? Every time I hear a girl--a WOMAN--squealing like an infant, I have to grit my teeth and stifle the pain. I honestly don't understand why people think it's cute to start talking like a little kid. It's not sexy. It's not empowering. It's NOT cute. It makes you look like a fool and if I was your man, I know I'd be running for the hills.
To me this is one of the most disgusting ways imaginable of endearing yourself to someone--a boyfriend, anyone. It involves mimicking the vocal quality of a mewling four year-old girl. It conjures up images of diapers and drool and sticky fingers--all the nastiness of infancy. And when a 20 year-old person (or older) drops into the baby-talk, it also conjures up images of mental asylums, old folks homes and mental retardation facilities, where there are actually a lot of older people who can't wipe their own asses or feed themselves, whose minds have either degenerated into nothingness or never developed properly in the first place. Only there would you find a 20 year-old who has an honest excuse for the inability to speak like he or she passed first grade.
Essentially, when I hear the baby-voice, many negative references are rolled into one. The high-pitched, nasal, whining sound only makes matters worse ... That sound, and the possibility that the boyfriend, who's on the receiving end of all this, might be getting off on it, is highly disturbing.
The grossness is truly endless.
Why do girls do it? Who teaches them? Every time I hear a girl--a WOMAN--squealing like an infant, I have to grit my teeth and stifle the pain. I honestly don't understand why people think it's cute to start talking like a little kid. It's not sexy. It's not empowering. It's NOT cute. It makes you look like a fool and if I was your man, I know I'd be running for the hills.
This entry was posted
on April 20, 2006 at 12:04 AM.
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